The Passover Singing Pack

I probably could write 50 of these in a day. But I think five are more than enough! Guaranteed to enliven any seder. Happy Passover.

Four Questions
(sung to Maria)

Four questions
Why won't someone ask the four questions?
In English or Hebrew
Either language will do tonight
Four questions
Why won't someone ask the four questions?
It's just four little whys
There's no need to be shy or contrite
Four questions
Without them there is no real seder
And one hell of an angry creator
Four questions
We need to just ask the four questions

I Hope Elijah Comes This Time
(sung to Get Me To The Church On Time)

I'm getting everything so ready
Horeses, the matzohs and the wine
I have the haggadahs and sponge cake from mother
I hope Elijah comes this time

I got a silver cup just for him
He could have a drink and dine
We'd feed him knaydles and Passadickah bagels
I hope Elijah comes this time


Gefilte Fish and Carrots
(sung to Gary, Indiana)

Gefilte fish and carrots
Are a combo of great merit
They’re the highlight of our family’s seder meal
Gefilte fish and carrots
Though the children grin and bear it
The adults eat every morsel with great zeal
Make sure to add a spoonful of horseradish
And every piece of fish will quickly vanish
It’s a grand tradition not something that’s faddish
It’s the kind of food that puts you in a good mood
Oh..
Gefilte fish and carrots
Are a combo of great merit
They’re the highlight of our family’s seder meal
Gefilte fish and carrots
There’s nothing it compares with
When it’s kosher it’s the real deal!

Let’s Call The Seder Off
(sung to Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off)

You say haggadah, I say haggudah
You say zeroa, I say zeroya
Haggadah, haggudah, zeroa, zeroya
Let’s call the seder off
You say chametz, I say choometz
You say charoset, I say charoyses
Chametz, choometz, charoset, charoyses
Let’s call the seder off
But oh, if we call the seder off
We’ll break the chain
Of all the generations
Who ate matzah
Mixed with chrain
So you say haggadah, I’ll say haggudah
You say zeroa, I’ll say zeroya
However we say it, it fills us with joy-a
We’ll never call the seder off
Oh we’ll never call the seder off

Ten Plagues From Hell
(sung to Heartbreak Hotel)

We once were slaves in Egypt
Then we found a new place to dwell
When Pharaoh wouldn’t let us go
We gave him plagues from hell, oh baby
Gave him ten plagues, oh baby
Gave him ten plagues, oh baby
Gave him such tzooris, that he cried

We turned the blood to water
Then we gave him frogs
Gnats, disease and pestilence
For all the Jews he flogged, oh baby
Gave him ten plagues, oh baby
Gave him ten plagues, oh baby
Gave him such tzooris, that he cried

Then came all the boils
Hail and locusts too
Darkness and death on the land
Such pain we put him through, oh baby
Gave him ten plagues, oh baby
Gave him ten plagues, oh baby
Gave him such tzooris, that he cried

On Misplaced Priorities, Part 37

In this country we set limits for exposure to potentially deadly chemicals by cost benefit analysis. We literally assign a value to a single life, count up the potential lives we place at risk and weigh that against the cost of reducing that risk. It's a gruesome calculus, but we simply don't have the money to protect everyone from all known chemical hazards.

Similarly, we cannot save everyone in the world from murder by brutal dictators. We can't even save most. The money just isn't there and the actions necessary to accomplish such a goal aren't clear either. We need to prioritize and at best save some lives, far less than would be ideal or even allow us to claim that humans can be expected to behave humanely and value human life as a precious gift.

It's strange that given our limitations, a world that watched millions die in North Korea and Cambodia, nearly a million die in Rwanda and continues to watch hundreds of thousands die in Darfur suddenly decided to go all out and save a few thousand innocents in Libya. We could probably save that many or more at home with a similar amount of money by improving our care for the sick in areas of poverty.

Despite Obama's rhetoric about the humanitarian motivation for our involvement, we wouldn't be involved if Libya didn't have oil. Our actions to save lives world-wide have for the last 30 years (probably longer) have really been about our economic interests and have been expensive enterprises that have not been well thought out. So it goes with Libya.

We have no plan in Libya, just a hope that Gaddafi will be removed. But there is no guarantee that this will happen and even if it does happen, there is no guarantee that his replacement(s) will be better. If we are going to try and save lives with an open ended, expensive and vague plan, we should do it where many, many more lives can be saved. Right now that place is Darfur. Why aren't we there?