Friday, October 16, 2009

I Humbly Accept

OK, so five loony tune Norwegians gave our president a peace prize even though he's involved in two wars, still holds prisoners of war in Cuba, still sends people overseas for likely torture, and is trying his best to ignore the torture of foreigners under Bush. Some peacenik Obama has turned out to be.

That said, this is par for the course for the Nobel committee that awards the peace prize. One year they gave it to Yassir Arafat who went on to promote and endorse the use of female suicide bombers. They gave it to Al Gore as well for his error filled movie - well he didn't make the movie, but he was the star - about global warming even though Gore waffled on carbon cutbacks when it really more or less counted: The Kyoto Protocol. These Nobel folks don't know what they are doing quite honestly. You might as well fire them and use a random award generator.

That said for some reason people are asking Obama not to accept this award because "he doesn't deserve it." I've never heard this kind of call before. No one asked Arafat to not accept his Nobel. Ditto for Gore. People who don't deserve this award win it with such frequency that it's odd to hear these kinds of requests. For me, these calls of "give it back" are just part of the overall attempt to completely delegitimize Obama as a political figure. He wasn't born here supposedly. He's a socialist trying to create a one world nation supposedly. The political right wing has gone completely nuts.

No I don't think Obama should reject this award. And yes, I think that Obama doesn't deserve it. But as long as certain people are clamoring that Obama do something other than travel to Europe and accept the award, I have a better idea. He should give it to me.

I have not sent one person off to war (except through my taxes). And I've done a lot for peace this past year. Just this past week I intervened at a scuffle in a Canadian bar. Those two adversaries were good buddies again all because of me. See! I even work in the international sector!

Two weeks ago, a woman was shouting at the Palo Alto public works head over some trees that had been cut down in my neighborhood. Her eyes were wild with rage. For all I know, she could have been packing heat in her little $600 purse. I stepped in between them and made a joke about planting banana trees in our neighborhood and having an annual banana daiquiri day. Humor is a great tool to defuse potentially violent situations I know. I may have saved a life!

Speaking of humor, I just thought of a great strategy for Obama vis a vis Iran. After Israel, fed up with the equivocations of Europe and the US, decides to bomb Iran's nuclear facilities, he should get in front of the piano, turn on his Flip and make a Youtube video singing the Ray Charles hit (slightly modified) " I hate to be the one to say Ay-ya-tol-ya so, but Ay-ya-tol-ya-so, you know Ay-ya-tol-ya-so." It would be hilarious. You can't start a world war when you're laughing. Then Obama would truly deserve the Peace Prize.

But enough about giving advice to Obama. My recent heroic efforts were not isolated incidents. Once a week or so I'm saving people from death or worse. I have not started any wars. I have not authorized any renditions. I don't have a weapons stash. I try to be accurate in my discussions with others about the cause and impact of global warming. In every way imaginable, I have been a steward of peace, far more than Obama. If he had any integrity, he would give the medal to me.

I would of course humbly accept. I'd wear that medal every day under my shirt. It would be a reminder not of what I've done (and I've done so much already I know), but that I can do more. Just thinking about wearing that medal has made me a better person I swear.

1 comment:

Eli said...

I'll nominate you for next year's award!