Given the recent problems with Illinois' corrupt Governor Blagojevich, I think it's reasonable to ask, "Can anything be done to reduce political corruption in the US?" And the answer is, "Of course!" But I don't think we need more laws or oversight. Nosiree Bob. The problem can be solved at its root and that root has nothing to do with regulation. Rather it has everything to do with location. To see what I mean, take a look at Corporate Crime Report's list of the most corrupt states in the country.
1. Louisiana
2. Mississippi
3. Kentucky
4. Alabama
5. Ohio
6. Illinois
7. Pennsylvania
8. Florida
9. New Jersey
10. New York
11. Tennessee
12. Virginia
13. Oklahoma
14. Connecticut
15. Missouri
16. Arkansas
17. Massachusetts
18. Texas
19. Maryland
20. Michigan
21. Georgia
22. Wisconsin
23. California
24. North Carolina
25. Arizona
If you know your state geography (and you should have learned that in 6th grade!), you can see a clear pattern. The states that are the most corrupt tend to have their state capitals in some of their tiniest and most dreary cities. Baton Rouge, Jackson, Frankfort, Montgomery, Springfield, Harrisburg, Trenton, and Albany. Nine of the top ten most corrupt states have their capitals in some true armpit cities. The only exception is Columbus, Ohio and that's not much of an exception.
Now imagine being an elected state official from a wonderful city like Chicago or NYC. For your job you have to move to some dreadful place like Springfield or Albany. You're completely out of your element. The town is tiny and insular. You grow bored and depressed. The next thing you know you're taking bribes just trying to bring some spark into your life.
The bottom line is that a state government is only as good as the city in which it is housed. There's no way anyone is going to confuse a place like Frankfort with Paris. It's completely predictable that Kentucky would have a government that is a sewer.
So how do we change things for the better? Move the capitals of course! The new capital of Kentucky is now Louisville. The new capital of Illinois is Chicago. OK, I know that moving the capital of Louisiana to New Orleans won't improve anything, but it definitely couldn't be any worse.
In other states, though, I guarantee marked improvement. Illinois and New York will be transformed into model states I'm certain. Corruption will be down nationwide. Just like real estate, good government is all about three things: location, location, location.
Now what about our Federal government? It's the same deal. People come from all over the country to live in a hot, muggy, damp swampland. No wonder they get all cozy with lobbyists! They are bored silly. Washington, DC is no reasonable place for anyone to live. We need to dump Washington, DC like a hot potato.
But I realize picking a new city for our Nation's capital would be fraught with trouble and controversy. So I propose a political compromise. We'll rotate our capital city every five years. Just like the NCAA basketball tournament finals or Olympics, the location of our Nation's capital will no longer be fixed. Every five years a new major city will be randomly picked. Such a move will be a temporary boon to any city's economy. Plus, it will keep those corrupt lobbyists on the run, too busy arranging their office furniture and installing their computer networks to do any major damage.
The overall change would be helpful to all six graders, too. They won't have to memorize the names of tiny no account cities like Salem anymore. They'll just focus on the big cities in every state. It will make their studies infinitely easier. All in all, I see no downside to this proposal at all. Remember where you heard it first!
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