Dealing with rejection

In my business, you need a very thick skin otherwise you’d go nuts. Rejection is the name of the game. If you get one yes for every 99 nos, you’re actually doing real well. I like the word “yes.” I wish I heard “yes” more often. I could change my last name to Yes. That might be the trick.

But I’m okay with the word “no.” It doesn’t bother me in the least. Once, I was at a record label pushing tunes for other people to sing and out of the blue, the A&R guy, someone whom I barely know said, “You know what I like about you, Stuart? Other people come in here and you can tell on their face that they are upset and angry when I turn them down. But you. Every time you come in here. It’s like water off a duck’s back. You understand. Very professional.”

We all have to cope with rejection. Hopefully, you deal with it in a professional way. But if not, here’s some advice.

Take a dish that you don't like, but pretend that you do. Throw it against the wall. Watch it break into a dozen pieces and a few hundred shards. Nothing quite like breaking a dish to make you feel much, much better. Make note to go to Goodwill and pick up a few more dishes for future throwing use.

That blog of yours has been, after an initial surge that lasted two weeks, a dead possum in the blogsphere with no new entries for six months. Now's the time! Write a furry! That ##$#@#$$$%! Rejecting me! How dare they! For pointers on how to do this well, consult Michelle Branch's blog diatribe a couple of months ago about her record company and her fans. I'm sure it made her feel much better. You will too.

Write a song. I don't know about you, but I can't write a lick when I'm feeling good. But when I'm angry or about to slash my wrists, well then, the words and the notes just pour out. And rejection over my music gets me going pretty good. Not as well as when a girl dumps me or my mother calls to tell me about how Michael just got promoted again and I still have time to go back to law school and make something of myself, but rejection is pretty good stuff. Here's a title for you: Reject Me You ##@SSDD! OK, I know it's already been done by Neil Young and a million other songwriters, but I'm sure you can add your own unique flavor to it.

I'm sure others can think of some good ideas as well. The point is don't just mope about. Get proactive! Rejection is a force. It requires an equal opposing force. It's just basic physics is all. But be careful about this physics thing. An old girlfriend of mine once flunked her geology exam, mostly because she said she was too in love to study (I took it as a compliment). As she walked out of the classroom she kicked the wall hard. The wall responded by breaking her toe. She was in a cast for six weeks. Much better to break a dish than a toe methinks.